JUNK FOOD BONDAGE

Can you be healthy and well-liked? Or, will people always roll their eyes at you behind your back when you decline dessert? Avoid the platter of cheese? Say no to the third glass of wine?

In the last four days I’ve decided to “get healthy” again. Since becoming pregnant I’ve fallen off the healthy wagon and its time to jump back on (I hope the jump doesn’t hurt where I had my C section – yep, it still hurts 7 months later : ( )

My father was just diagnosed with very serious Type 2 Diabetes. My uncle has it as well. As a result, I have a 1 in 3 chance of getting it myself. Time to eat better. And not just because I want to look better (although I won’t deny that’s a major motivator,) more than anything I just don’t want diabetes!

Today, at my friend Lee’s house we were having coffee and I turned down the chocolate chip muffins. I was that girl, the one avoiding sugary fattening goodness while the other girls dug in. I was the girl who, by not partaking in the treats, made the girls who did partake feel fat. I’m being glib but you know what I mean. And I haven’t said no to sugar in a long time. For the past two years I was the girl judging the girl that says no to treats. Just eat the damn cookie bitch!

Lets face it, eating sugary foods and salty foods (bad foods) with your girlfriends is a form bonding. If your friends eat badly it lessens your own guilt about eating badly. And a lot of us girls also bond by being self-deprecating. “I hate my ass.” “I hate my thighs.” “I ate a row of Oreo cookies last night!” “You think that’s bad, I ate the whole bag!” Ah ha ha! Ah ha ha! Ah ha sob! I would argue, its so implicit in ‘Girl World’ to bond over junk food that girls even lie about eating junk when they haven’t just to fit in.

I have a friend who eats ‘perfectly.’ Like, we went on a road trip in college, partied all weekend long, stopped for french fries on the drive back to school to cure our hangovers (as you do) and from out of nowhere she presented a tiny tupperware container full of low-fat cottage cheese with exactly seven almonds in it. WTF! Instantly, we all felt inferior. And its because of her willpower (cottage cheese for a hangover??) that she has the most amazing body you’ve ever seen. Good for her. But on some level we all secretly hate that she can’t just ever have a ‘chubby phase’ like the rest of us. And that’s not right is it?

When I was heavy into auditioning I felt I needed to be skinny (I don’t need to explain why do I?) As a result, I became very strict about what I ate: No sugar, no bread, no pasta, no potatoes, no beer, almost no wine, no butter, low fat cheese… You get the idea. And I swear to God, I lost friends. The skinnier I got, the more strict I was about my diet, the more certain girls weren’t nice to me. Maybe they thought my efforts to be thin were anti-feminist, anti-woman and weak… Maybe I wasn’t as fun to be around because I couldn’t bond over junk food? Or, maybe, by not eating junk I made them feel badly for eating it…?

I really hope I don’t loose friends this time around. But lets not get ahead of ourselves, I’ve only been eating better for four days : )

What do you think? Do you ever secretly judge the girl that continually makes healthy choices? Are you that healthy girl? Guys, what’s it like for you? Do you have junk food bonding sessions with your friends? Have you ever eaten something you didn’t want to just to fit in?

Please share your opinions/thoughts with me! x

 

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