I apologize for any typos. I am typing this on my mom’s ipad. I am visiting her in Naples Florida and in a “Mommy-Brain” moment I forgot my computer at home.
So, about the Premiere. You know what, after all that worrying (nails bitten town to the quick) I had a great time! The cast and crew were all happy to see each other and the audience was filled with people that supported the project And the show was well-received. Oh, and I felt beautiful – there’s always the ‘Beauty Piece.’
In preparation for the Red Carpet I got a spray tan (75 dollars), got my hair straightened and professionally curled (85 dollars), bought a new dress (400 dollars) and got my makeup professionally done (250 dollars.) You should know I cant afford this! But fear made me do it!
When you get your pictures taken on the red carpet those pictures end up on the internet and are linked to you forever. I was scared into trying to look my best.
And after all that primping I felt really beautiful. (Confession: even more beautiful than I felt at my wedding.) I felt like a sexy woman again and not just a mommy. But, (there is always a but…)
What really made the night fun was being with friends. We drank (I pumped and dumped) and danced. We laughed and took whacky photos in a photo booth.
I started to think that the people who were happy to see me would have been happy to see me with less makeup on and with my natural curls.
And maybe, just maybe, they weren’t secretly judging me for being bigger than usual.
On the way home my husband said to me: “Everyone told me how beautiful you looked tonight.”
“Goal accomplished.” I thought. (The goal being to look beautiful.) But a little voice inside my head said: “One day you’ll be older and people might not comment on your looks (no matter how much you spend on clothes, makeup, hair and spanks…) Are you ready for that day?